When it comes to mental illness, there is so much that is unfair.
It’s not fair for a condition to strike someone typically just at the start of their adult life (ages 16-24) (Solmi et al., 2022). It’s not fair that an illness is even capable of affecting your mind.
It’s not fair to have an illness you think you have to hide or should be afraid of. The shame individuals living with mental health conditions often carry is real, so much so that it has been given a name of its own: self-stigma (Hasson-Ohayon et al., 2012).
It’s unfair that your insurance might not cover the medicine most likely to work for you, or may require you to take several cheaper medications first in a process known as “step therapy.”
It’s not fair that if you need to go to the hospital, you may spend a few days in the ER first because the “psych bed” shortage is that bad (McBain et al., 2022).
It’s not fair that you are almost certain to be treated differently as a “psych patient” than how the “medical patients” are treated by nurses. It’s not fair that, compared to most major illnesses, your illness will receive relatively little funding for research (Patel et al., 2021). However, suicide kills more young people than cancer and heart disease combined (Hedegaard et al., 2021).
It’s not fair that the largest treatment facility for your condition is a jail (Hill, 2016). It’s not fair that even if you end up there, it’s likely you won’t get your medicine (Hughes et al., 2023).
It’s not fair that while research suggests people can and do get better from even serious mental illness, it’s unlikely you will hear that message in your first encounter for help (at least I didn’t).
It’s not fair that, on top of all that, people may feel it’s OK to stigmatize or even joke about your illness.
Yet, somehow, beyond all this, most people I have known who have these conditions have shown unmatched resilience.
When Others Judge
As a therapist and person who has lived with mental health conditions, one of the most difficult things to witness is the lack of compassion often given to the real suffering of mental illness. When a person is diagnosed with a significant health concern like cancer, people tend to rally behind them. Yet, someone with schizophrenia is more likely to be dismissed, lectured, or worse.
I have often wondered why this is and how people can be so unkind. I have narrowed my hypothesis down to three categories.
1. Sometimes, Compassion Is Painful
When we see someone hurting and feel empathy, we feel that hurt. Yet, if we replace that compassion with judgment, no matter how irrational, it is possible to avoid that pain. People living with mental health conditions often suffer massively. Sometimes, acknowledging others’ agony can be a lot.
I’ve heard people say compassion is “weak” or “soft.” It isn’t. It takes a strong person to be willing to open themselves to the realities of others’ suffering.
2. Ignorance
The symptoms of many mental health conditions can mimic what people call “character flaws.” Negative symptoms of schizophrenia, for example, can sap someone’s motivation and make it difficult to organize one’s thoughts. Think of the executive functioning difficulties people with ADHD experience and magnify that by a million. Onlookers might see someone lying on the couch and call them “lazy” when said person is fighting a vicious battle in their mind.
3. Sometimes Judgment Makes People Feel Better About Themselves
There is a dark side to social psychology wherein we compare ourselves to others. Individuals living with mental health conditions have often been society’s scapegoats.
Sadly and inappropriately, some people look down on individuals living with mental illness, especially those experiencing homelessness. As if to say, “At least I’m not that person.” Acknowledging that they just as easily could be “that person” if they were to have drawn the same genetic short straw would disillusion them of their “better than” stance.
How We Can Respond to Judgment and Ignorance
We must reject the stigma of these real health conditions. The torment individuals with mental health conditions experience is no less than that of any other illness. What follows are three ways to respond to others expressing unkind words about someone with a mental health condition.
1. What Makes You Say That?
Sometimes, people parrot things that they have heard from others or that they have come to believe without merit. This simple question can help someone to step back and think.
2. Would You Say That About Someone With Cancer?
Mental health is health. If we wouldn’t say something about someone living with any other health condition, we shouldn’t say it about a mental health condition.
3. Someone I Love Lives With That.
Mental health conditions are common. Sometimes, people “other” those with these conditions, forgetting that the very person they are talking to (or someone they love) may live with these diagnoses. A decision to disclose needs to be made carefully, but it can be a powerful tool for change.
Conclusion
If you are encountering stigma related to a mental health condition, know that this is no different than any other kind of prejudice or discrimination. Myself and others who’ve been there, our families, and mental health professionals will never stop fighting to make changes. We will fight for a system that treats people with such challenges as the warriors they are.
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